Column: Do you want to pet my ant?
I've had my share of pets in my life, and I understand the appeal. I've had dogs I could run and play with, birds that chirped pleasantly and cats that ... well, the cats all kind of did their own thing. But they would occasionally acknowledge my presence with a not entirely unpleasant reaction.
Once, one of the cats ate one of the birds. But I don't like to think about that.