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Column: All a-Twitter

I did something earlier this month I'm not very proud of. It's not the first time, I have to admit. Just one example in a long line of them.

I signed up for something called Twitter. It is like the blogs everyone used to keep, but dumbed down. Like, way down. I know. Scary, right?

You have just 140 characters to squeeze in every foolish thought in your head. It is the concentrated orange juice version of the Internet.

With cell phones or computers Twitterers can share every thought they have got from anywhere in the world. And this is somehow a good thing.

I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't want to know what a strange man's burrito, ice cream and crusty apple snack dinner has done to his stomach.

Here's the arc of my Twitter interest: Hey, neat idea. But most people aren't interesting enough to fill 140 characters. But I am. I'm neat!

Think of all the fascinating thoughts I have every day about things like ... um.... Well, I'm sure there's something. Just give me a minute.

Plus, with the new program I downloaded for my phone it is crazy easy. And doesn't the world deserve to know my every thought as it happens?

I think it does. Surely, there are not enough random rantings and poorly considered boob jokes in the world. I have to make my contribution.

For an example, check out my most recent post: "Headline: 'Woman shoots 200 lb. deer with 27-point rack.' So, which one had the great rack?"

See, totally worth it. I have to admit, though, there are times when even 140 characters can seem like a lot of space.... Uh.... Soup pants!

And for posts like that I've got followers. Three of them! OK, one is the friend who introduced me to Twitter. But two more, too! Ego boost!

There are actually some serious Twitterers around. CNN Twitters. MinnPost, also. But so do people called shoemonkey and bigsexyshaq. And me.

I'm not sure if my contributions add to the validity of Twitter as a medium or detract. Am I Twitter Hemmingway or Twitter romance novelist?

Wait. Do not answer that. We know which one. But the closest I have come to romance in my 5 posts is a photo of Williams Arena. Happy place!

In any case, I'm not sure how long I can keep my posting up. Already use this space to share most of my pointless thoughts. Really any left?

If I think I might find other uses for this tool. Like, I could use it to compose limericks. But I think Nantucket has too many letters. Dam

Is writing my entire column in Twitter a good enough gimmick readers won't realize it's not funny? Nope. Subscribers are too smart for that.

I think that means I just wasted way too much of an evening. Eh, that is pretty much par for the course with this column, now I think of it.

Oh well. I am a relatively intelligent guy (Though I'm sure some out there would be happy to disagree.). I'm sure I will think of something.